The Ranger (2018)

Don't go into the woods!  The crazed hillbillies will always get ya, at least that's what like 80% of slasher films will lead you to believe.  But what if the most dangerous person out there really is the one you depend on for forest safety?  With the title being The Ranger, I think we all know where this is going.

A Jeep Cherokee?!  This guy must be crazy

 The Ranger is a bit different from most slasher films as right from the start we are introduced to our killer forest service person and hes a very talkative fellow at that.  No mask, no deformity, no real costume, and he sure talks a whole lot.  The character appears quite often in the film and communicates to the victims even.  It's not like we all don't know that he's the nutso the entire time either, it's clear to anyone watching except the stupid kids in the movie.  There isn't much in the form of jump scares or stalking going on either, the ranger is always around and his menace is always right there hanging on the edge ready to go off.  What the movie does have that isn't really unique for the slasher genre is your typical cast of annoying teens who all act like idiots and you want to see them get slashed as soon as possible.  Our cast of characters are supposed to be punk rockers and the movie has been described as a punk rock slasher, which apparently just means that they play bad punk music randomly throughout the film.  There is no clear punk stylings outside of the clothing of the cast and their shitty van covered in graffiti.

They can't die fast enough

If anything drags this movie down, it's the annoying as all hell cast.  They are so punk, they don't take any shit from no one cause they are so anti authority!  Nothing is sacred, fuck the police and like apparently everything should be vandalized cause that's just cool  to do.  Really they are just all shitty people, the leader of the pack even commits murder early on in the movie which we just kinda are apparently supposed to forget happens cause everyone else mostly does.  To hide from the law the kids go take a trip to the mountains to stay at a cabin which belongs to the main character.  They do nothing but make bad jokes, play shitty music, do lots of drugs the whole time, and just are shitty people that makes you root for the ranger to hurry up and get the blood flowing!  Not a single likable person in this cast so the movie's first half hour or so is just pure torture to sit through.

Clean up on aisle...... ah forget it.

Moving onto the ranger himself, we've met him very early on in the film and he seems like a nice fellow really, but clearly something is going on.  When we meet the ranger once again later on in the film he's a bit more on the edge.  He seems like a normal park ranger who loves to cite park regulations and clearly the punk kids totally hate him cause he's an authority figure so right away they toss mad disrespect his way.  This park ranger takes his job very seriously and he's gonna clean up that mountain....maybe not fast enough for my liking though.  Any time our ranger friend is on the screen is really the highlight of the film, he's not totally bonkers insane, he's actually pretty collected throughout the process of dispatching these brats.  I kinda assume or hope at least that the intention was that we kind of side with the ranger, despite how incredibly cold and cruel he is.  His almost calm and collected demeanor as he's hunting down these teens is a bit comedic even.  The character is interesting in how straight he plays it, but at the same time it also make it hard for this killer to really stand out from the huge sea of slasher killers.  It's just a normal park ranger who instead of writing a citation, jams an axe into your chin.

#punkAF

There isn't a whole lot to talk about this movie, it's not bad in any way really but it's completely forgettable.  The story tries to be vague and mysterious but really is a whole lot of nothing despite them trying to make it seem shocking.  It left me with lot of questions about the ranger character which are never really answered yet the movie is really all focused on the lead female and her mysterious past and how it ties into the ranger.  It really was a whole lot of nothing, they try to make some kind of point at the end but really it's just an excuse for this mess to all happen.  I really couldn't get to into this character's story, I just wanted to have fun watching a crazy park ranger and when he does get going he can be pretty sadistic and fun.  The kills can be decently gory too but nothing really unique that will stick with you.  This is a tough one to really talk about as it just was so in the middle with nothing special about it and nothing bad enough to really totally dig into either.  The Ranger is a pass to me unless you really got nothing else to watch, you will probably quickly forget about it either way as it's so unmemorable.  So many better options for slashers, but when one is just so mediocre it's a bummer.  I would rather watch a really bad slasher which always has entertainment value other blandness.